Conflict Resolution
Ever since the beginning of humankind, conflict has been a part of human experience and a daunting task as for the way to resolve it in a peaceful manner. What is actually the origin of conflict and what can be done in order to avoid that to happen? According to the Scriptures the first conflict appeared in the Garden of Eden, since Adam & Eve failed to follow God’s Commandment and disobeyed God. God had to expel them from Paradise and they were alienated and separated from God. The story of Cain and Abel is the first serious conflict situation and crime that was not resolved peacefully and ended dramatically and tragically in fratricide. Actually, the conflict starts with me as an individual and expands exponentially within human society and the world. As long as the problem is not resolved in oneself i.e. in its root, there won’t be any solution to the problem.
Potentially good people with integrity of character and mature personality are not vulnerable in getting involved in conflict situations and can master such situations successfully. Usually people who grow up in bad environments like broken families, ghettos or gangs are susceptible to developing violent characters and evil habits. In contrast, people who are born in good loving families and receive affection, attention and value tend to be well equipped in front of challenges that involve violence and conflict. A conflict won’t necessarily lead to a fight or confrontation, if the two parties know how to negotiate and are willing to find a solution. It’s always imperative to respect your opponent and be eager to look at things from a higher point of view. It is always within our reach to avoid conflicts or resolve them, provided we are inclined to make a concession and compromise. “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
The reason we often fail to find a solution or agreement is personal or national interests, arrogance and lack of understanding as for the other side. Under the surface is usually selfishness that causes a conflict to arise. Therefore a self check about our motives is always the best method to prevent such a development and avoid any conflict on its outset. One major factor of conflicts has to do with communication, mistrust and misunderstanding. Often we take things for granted and do not confess or communicate our thoughts and plans to the people directly associated with us. Frankness and honesty are two very effective approaches to bring about harmony in our relationships. We need to be aware of our weaknesses and admit our deficiencies and if possible confess them, then we are qualified to improve and stride forward to new lands. “When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it's an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.” – Dolores Huerta
The opposite of conflict is the pursuit of peace. If we experience peace in ourselves, there is no room for conflict and confrontation. A person that has grown up in a loving family and has experienced this life-changing experience of affection, appreciation and warmth by his parents and siblings has learned maybe the best lesson in his life and feels secure and confident to resolve whatever problem comes across according to this peaceful formula that has to do with sound human relations and strong mutual bonds. To violate such a concept of being and becoming would be as choosing to be self-destructive and a rejection to human identity and value. If you don’t want (hate) evil and relate to it or have developed an aversion against it, then it would be most unusual to get involved in critical and confrontational situations. Even if you were engaged in such a conflict, you would know how to handle and master it without resorting to violence and arguments. “Conflict forces us to be fully present because it shatters our ego—stripping away all hope of escape or sugar coating. It removes everything that is nonessential to our authentic being; it removes all superficial layers. Conflict is painful because it wakes us up out of our created illusions. And if we lean into it, conflict can be the catalyst to our enlightenment.” – Alison Hutchinson
We should never allow ourselves to be dominated by evil feelings and emotions like anger, hate, revenge and retaliation. We do have the ability to reconcile opposite forces in ourselves and create peace of mind. Our pursuit should lead to acquisition of good and moral traits, integrity, truth, sincerity and overcome selfishness. Such qualities can harmonise our character and personality and attain a state of internal equilibrium and balance. The final stage of internal growth is to feel joy and happiness which lead us to peace and fulfillment. There can be nothing more valuable and precious than that.